Thursday, May 5, 2011

The plan...maybe?

As most military wives are aware, there is no planning when it actually comes to the military.  Things never go as planned, they get postponed, changed...whatever.
Having said that, it is the exact reason why we still havent had a wedding ceremony.  I have not planned anything for birthdays, anniversaries, or other holidays like valentines day and mothers day because military duty comes first.  Many of us wives or girlfriends have gone through this or have gone through the change of orders or last minute deployments OR changed dates for deployments.  I cant even tell you how many times my husbands deployment has been rescheduled...march, to june..to august...now july.

OH and not to mention how many last minute underways we have gone through...
We found out yesterday that he leaves friday for an underway for three weeks but has duty thursday so i wont see him tomorrow night.
I'm trying not to complain because i love knowing that my husband is doing this for our family and for our nation and i am so proud of him for how hard he works, how hard he studies for school, and how he still comes home to our family with a smile and still has the energy to play with our 13 month old daughter before she goes to bed and spend time with me...everynight.

Yes, the military does compensate for how much we go through and im extremely thankful for everything we get out of it.  I have great things that i would not have on my own...a beautiful house, soon to be two kids with medical expenses fully covered and much more...
the real reason why i had to vent tonight though::::::

how do i prepare myself for this deployment...i dont even think anyone can prepare themselves to NOT have their bestfriend, their husband, their childrens father away from them for this long of a time...
I've been an army brat my whole life since my dad was in the army and i thought i would have this stuff down already...but i guess its not that easy.

SO...the plan for now...

Im styaing here in San Diego.  Alot of spouses go back to their home or record to be with family while their husband is away.  My mom and I have such a great relationship now than i did when i was in highschool and i know that going home will destroy our new relationship...i also need to stay away from my old habits considering i wasnt the sweetest or innocent child in the past.  I have my own family to look after now and we have a home. i need to start traditions here even if it means daddy will be away for awhile. this is going to be my biggest test for myself...probably the hardest.  with two kiddos around, im hoping it will help make things go by fast...

my friend said this once before...

"for a while the closet will be less than a few clothes,
the garage less than a few shoes,
the car less than a passenger,
our bed less than a lover,
our family less than the father...
and my everyday will be less than my soulmate and better half..."


With GOD i WILL get through this!

....all the way from San Diego